


Queeries

by setos_puppy



Category: DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Edward is a total goober and I love him for it, Fluff, M/M, Timeline What Timeline, look at these nerds, stupid fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setos_puppy/pseuds/setos_puppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward doesn't want to go to this stupid charity dinner.  Turns out he makes a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Queeries

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, you guys, I have a seriously huge problem. I adore this fandom. Specifically this Edward. I've always loved Ed/Jonathan, and yes I know Jonathan hasn't been introduced yet and this whole thing is going to go out the window eventually BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I HAVE A HEADCANON AND I'M STICKING WITH IT.
> 
> Also, I may have done a tonne of research on forensic science degrees and Gotham City layouts and maps for like 4 hours before writing this. And like hardly any of it made it into this fic. Oops. 
> 
> Also, see if you can spot the funny "Scarecrow" references I shoved in here. There are two.

“I hate this, I don’t want to go.  We should just stay home.”

“You don’t mean that, you’re just anxious.  That’s perfectly reasonable; this is the first time we’ve ever been to an event like this for your work.”

“Don’t you psychoanalyze me!  I just don’t want to go.”

“Eddie, stop pouting, do you want your face to stay that way?”

“You know full well that statement is a fallacy.  Why would you annoy me with such a stupid response?”

“ _Edward_ , I know you’re nervous, but I assure you this is a good thing.  Humanizing and letting people in is not a weakness.  These people aren’t going to be like your father, alright?  I’ll be right there beside you the whole time, and if you need out, we’ll go.  It would be rude not to show up even for a little while.  You don’t want to be rude, do you?”

Heaving out a sigh, Edward turned from where he was staring into his closet and looked over to his husband, letting his head drop slightly to hide his eyes.  He leaned into Jonathan as his arms moved about him and pressed his forehead to Jonathan’s shoulder.  Squeezing Jonathan’s sides he stepped back and gave him a small, wan smile.

“You’re right.  Of course you’re right.  I suppose a small visit can’t hurt.  After all, this is a charity event and not showing up wouldn’t be very polite to the Gotham Children’s Hospital.” 

Jonathan nodded his head and ruffled up Ed’s hair, giving a small smile at the annoyed huff it earned him as Ed worked to smooth it out.  Moving past his husband, Jonathan reached into the closet and pulled out a sleek wool suit in a warm tone of grey and pressed it to Edward’s chest.  Edward grinned softly and pressed a kiss softly to Jonathan’s mouth, putting the suit on the bed as he pulled off the sweater he’d been wearing and unbuttoned his jeans. 

Shrugging on the crisp, white dress shirt and tucking his shirt into his pants and buckling his belt, Edward turned slightly, raising his chin when he felt Jonathan’s nimble fingers turn up his collar.  Catching sight of the silken apple green tie he reached up to stop Jonathan’s hands. 

“Green’s your favourite colour, Ed, you have so many lovely bright, happy green ties and all you ever wear to work are those drab olive greens and army greens and grey-greens.  This is a nice, friendly event.  Besides, it pops with your suit and it brings out your eyes.”

Grumbling, Ed stood still as Jonathan made quick work of the Windsor knot that came from years of practice tying his own ties, and pulled on his jacket.  “I hope you’re wearing something nice if I’m putting on all this formality.”

“No, dear, I’m not going to wear a noose around my neck.”  Jonathan laughed at the look Ed gave him and grinned impishly.  “You know I live for my ties.” 

Watching as Ed moved off to trade in his horn-rimmed glasses for contacts, Jonathan moved back toward the closet.  It wasn’t overly formal, and it was late autumn, so he could get away with an outfit without a blazer.  Pulling off his shirt and undoing his black slacks, Jonathan pulled on a clean black dress shirt and tucked it in.  Humming softly as he looked through his tie rack, Jonathan pulled out a matte burnt orange tie and looped it around his neck.  Pursing his lips, Jonathan flicked through his side of the closet, looking for something to finish the outfit.  Pulling out a fallow toned sweater vest, he moved to the floor length mirror and held it against his chest, wondering if the pale, sandy brown shade would clash.  Pulling the vest over his head and straightening the tie once it was tucked in, Jonathan did a small turn.

“I don’t look like a walking Thanksgiving advertisement, do I?”

Ed lifted his head from where he was bent in front of the dresser and turned, blinking a few times as the contacts settled and he secured his watch on his wrist.  “No, you look nice – very scholarly; I like that colour, it’s warmer than tan.”  Looking at his watch once it was adjusted on his wrist, Ed groaned.  “Great, we’re going to be late if we don’t catch the next train, I hate having to transfer at Murphy Avenue, if we miss it we have to take the bus through The Bowery, and like hell I want to do that wearing nice clothes.  I’m not in the mood to get mugged.”

 

***

 

“Well this is awfully nice.”  Barbara murmured from where she was resting against Jim’s side once they entered the Giordano Botanical Gardens, they followed the signs through the wide, glass enclosed halls towards the hall that had been booked for the event by the GCPD. 

“Not bad, yeah.  Maybe we’ll have time to look around.”

“That would be nice.” Barbara handed over their invitations and took them back once they’d been stamped and followed the hostess’ directions toward the large chart sitting on an easel.  “Huh, seating chart.”  Leaning toward the placard, Barbara hummed as she ran her eyes over the names.  “Gordon… Gordon…  Ah, here we are, sitting at the edge with Dr. Crane and… Dr. Crane?  Misprint, you think?  I don’t think many cops have doctorates.”

Jim snorted softly and circled an arm around her waist.  “That’ll be the day.  Lead on.”  As they made their way toward the table, which was nestled near one of the windows overlooking one of the gardens, Jim took in the sight of the man sitting at the table reading over the small choice menu. He definitely didn’t look like he worked for the Department, hell; he barely looked like he was old enough to hold down a job. 

Jim stopped at the table and gave a nod of greeting as the man rose, extending a hand.  “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Dr. Jonathan Crane.”

Okay, well that explained the name on the board, but he definitely wasn’t a cop.  Jim took his hand and shook.  “Jim Gordon, this is my fiancée Barbara Kean.” 

“Pleasure to meet you both.  Gordon?  Oh, you’re the new transfer!  Edward’s been telling me all about you.”

Before Jim could question as to who was Edward and where did he work along with a whole slew of other questions, Jonathan was being handed a glass of white wine. 

“They didn’t have Chablis, so I got Sancerre.” 

  1.   He knew that voice!  “Nygma?”



Edward blinked as he lowered his wine glass and gave a small smile.  “Detective Gordon, nice to see you again, and..?”  He looked toward Barbara, who introduced herself while extended a hand, to which he pressed a kiss to the knuckles.  “Nice to meet you.”  Setting down his glass of wine, he set a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder.  “I see you already met my better half.”

“We did, yes, Jonathan, right?”  Barbara got a nod and sat back down.  “He was just introducing himself when you got here.  So you’re Edward.  Why did Jim call you Nygma?”

“Probably because his partner, Detective Bullock calls me that, it’s Nygma-Crane, really, but the name change is recent.  Still, leopard, spots.”

Jim stared at the man who was sitting across the table from him.  Edward seemed so different outside of the lab coat and with his glasses off.  “Well, I’ll do my best to acknowledge it.”  He pulled over the glass of ice water and took a sip.  “How long’s it been?”

Jonathan tapped his chin with his forefinger, tilting his head to the side.  “Almost eight months now?  Just after I finished school, it was too hectic to worry about marriage while trying to get my psychology degree.  Now, though, Ed’s the one bringing in the money while I collect dust.”

“Don’t say that, now that Arkham is reopening I’m sure you’ll be right at the top of their list.  Someone who specializes in Behavioural Therapy, not to mention that you have so many professors vouching for you…”  Edward rolled his eyes fondly.  “He’s too modest.”

Barbara’s brows winged up in interest and she leaned in.  “Really?  Do you have a specialty?”

“Well, I focused on anxieties, mostly.  Exposure to phobias, rerouting panic instincts toward something more focused.  Or tapping into the fear, getting to the root of it, trying to… make it a more tangible thing, I suppose.  Boring, really, a lot of it is theory based until I can get my hands on some patients to really see if it works.  That’s medicine for you.” 

Jim pressed his mouth into a line at the mention of Arkham.  Battle lost.  He pushed the simmering annoyance away, Jonathan wasn’t at fault, and he’d be getting a job out of a shitty deal.  He turned his attention toward Edward, who had pulled out a small book, the pages curled under to break the spine as he stared down at the print, twirling a pencil in hand.  A puzzle book and one that looked like it had taken a fair beating and was near the end.  “Is that what you have your doctorate in?  Puzzles? Philosophy?”

Ed looked up from where he was staring intently at the page, eyes slightly distant, before he focused back in.  “Hm?  Oh no, no.  My Ph.D is in Applied Bioscience to go along with my B.Sc’s in Forensics and Biology.  Forensics is just another type of puzzle.  One my apophenia is more than happy to tackle.”  Turning his eyes back to the page, Edward penciled something in.  “Critical thinking is an oft overlooked capability, detective; riddles are an excellent way to keep the mind sharp.”  He glanced up momentarily, before his eyes flicked down to the book again.  He turned the page, beginning to work on a new puzzle.  “Just because you and your partner think me odd does not mean my talents and skills are not worthwhile.”

“I never said –“

“True, and you’ll forgive me for being so bold, but I’ve been dwelling on this a while, but I see the way I’m looked at once I’m outside of the lab at work.  My colleagues are more than happy to answer my riddles, play with me when it comes to puzzles and brain teasers.”

“Jim’s not that kind of guy, sorry to say.  Army days took all the fun out of him.”  Barbara teased lightly.  “He doesn’t much like thinking out of the box.  Why don’t you try me, though?  I love puzzles and riddles, I may not be very good at them, but I love to try.”

Edward paused in his scribbling and looked up slowly, eyeing Barbara for a moment, as if trying to assess her sincerity.  He tucked the golf pencil into his book and placed the book back into the pocket of the trench coat draped over the back of his chair.  His eyes slipped over to look at Jonathan who scoffed.

“Don’t look at me for permission, I’m not stopping you.  You brighten up when someone’s engaging in mind-play with you.”

Barbara stood up a moment and moved her chair around the table slightly so she was sitting closer to Ed and rested her elbows on the table and dropped her chin in her open palms, letting her fingers cup her face.  She shot Ed a wide smile. “Alright, Dr. Nygma-Crane, puzzle away.”

Draining the last of his wine, Edward set the glass aside.  “Alright, only until dinner comes, alright, since I’m sure by then you’ll be sick of me.  What do the letter ‘t’ and an island have in common?”

Barbara straightened from her friendly, teasing posture and tapped her fingers on the tabletop, musing.  “Letter t…  No, that doesn’t work.  They’re both…”  She worried her bottom lip, brows furrowing as she thought.  “I don’t know.”

“They’re both in water.” 

“Oh!  Oh that’s clever!  Ha, I like that.  That’s a good one.  I need to write that down.”  Pulling over her purse, Barbara took out a pen and a small notebook and scribbled it down.  “Alright, what’s the next one?”

“I go all around the world but remain in the corner, what am I?”

Clicking the pen in thought, Barbara lightly smacked her hand on the table.  “A stamp.  A stamp for a letter.”

“Very good.  You guess that one quickly.  Alright…  Oh, this one is good.  When you have me, you want to share me, but when you share me you lose me.”

“Hum, that’s…  You have it and you want to share it, but…  What do you have but if you share it you lose it?  Not food, because you can share some and still have some.  Same with money, anything physical, really… So, what can you have that isn’t physical?” 

“A thought?”

“Shhh, Jim, no!”  Barbara distractedly flapped a hand at him before shooting him a frown.  “That’s silly.  You can share a thought and still have one.”  Rubbing her hand down Jim’s arm in comfort for snapping at him, Barbara looked back to Ed, who was watching her with a calm but expectant gaze.  “Oh, oh!  A secret!”  Grinning when Ed clapped softly, Barbara looked over to Jim.  “This is fun; I bet if you tried you’d be able to answer some of these.   You should let Ed ask you some at work, see if your army brain can think outside the lines.”  Turning her eyes back to Edward, she offered him a soft smile.  “Can I ask you one?”

“Please, by all means.”

“Okay.  I saw this one ages ago.  The person who makes me doesn’t need me.  The person who buys me doesn’t use me.  The person who uses me has no knowledge of using me.  What am I?”

“A coffin.”

“Wow.  You answered that super fast.”

“It’s a good riddle, alright, one more since I can see other tables are getting their food.  You find yourself in a cold, dark cabin with nothing but a packet of cigarettes and a match.  You can barely see, but you can make out the sight of a candle, a wood stove, and a fireplace.  What do you light first?”

“Well that’s easy, the candle, because then you can light the others!”

“Wrong.  Try again?”

“The match,” Jim replied, taking his plate from the waiter and setting it in front of himself.  “You can’t light any of them without striking the match first.”

Ed grinned at Jim and nodded his head.  “Very good, Detective, there may be hope for you yet.”

Jim gave a snort and rolled his eyes.  “Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to solving murders.”

“With my help.”

Cutting into his steak, Jim nodded in agreement.  “We probably couldn’t do it without you.”

 

***

 

As the evening wound down, speeches were given, money was collected, some dancing was had and flowers were appreciated.  By the time they made their way to the door, Ed’s tie was hanging undone around his neck and Barbara was holding her heels. 

“Do you have far to drive?”

“Oh, we live by Gotham U; we’ll be taking the subway.”

“At this time of night?  That’s dangerous; Jim and I can take you on our way back to Old Gotham.”  Barbara paused by the door leading to the parking lot and slipped on her shoes with a smile.  “We had a great time tonight; really, it’s the least we can do.”

Ed let his eyes drift toward Jim who gave a soft nod of the head and he nodded in agreement.  “Alright then, as long as it isn’t an imposition.”

The four headed toward Jim’s car and Barbara slipped into the front seat while Ed and Jonathan slipped into the back.  Jonathan pressed his cheek to Ed’s shoulder, yawning widely.  Ed rested his head atop his husband’s and yawned in response.  “I’m glad I’m off tomorrow.”

“Lucky you, Quiz Master, some of us don’t get days off.”

Laughing softly at the nickname, Ed’s eyes drooped.  “Well, you know what they say, no rest for the wicked.”


End file.
